Friends?

  In our daily lives, we surround ourselves with people. Sometimes it’s intentional, sometimes it’s not. It may be at work, school, church or simply while involved in any kind of hobby.  We become acquaintances with those we associate ourselves with daily. Sometimes, these relationships can lead to real friendships. As humans, we tend to crave real friendships. People we can count on when we are in need, we also are happy to be there when they need us as well.

  In my years, I have had many friends come and go and learned that not all friends are there to the end. Other friendships can be absolute. In some relationships, love and respect for one another is so strong that you know that no matter what is going on in yours or your friend’s life, there will always be understanding, support and willingness to walk along side of each other, no matter what.

  Sometimes the relationship can end very badly. A lot of times it comes down to differences from a certain viewpoint on a trivial matter that couldn’t be resolved before the desire to resolve the issue fades away. Sometimes the friendship ends due to serious, unresolved conflict that simply cannot be reconciled. This can happen with family as well, which especially hurts.

 Recently in my quiet time, I began to think about friendships and family relationships that have come and gone for some reason or another, or sometimes no reason that I could recall at all. Looking at Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” I began to really meditate on that and began to realize the process of iron actually sharpening iron. It takes friction, the shaving away of the old to expose the new, sometimes sparks to fly, a harshness, and yes…a lot of work for the process to be effective. The effect is also mutual. Friendships and relationships are crucial for personal growth and accountability. However, great care must be taken when you decide who can be the person you share this gift of trust with.

  Proverbs 17:17 says “A friend loves at all times, while a brother is born for a time of adversity.”(NIV). Highlighting the enduring and supportive nature of close friendships, especially during difficult times.

  Proverbs 27:6 says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”(NIV)

 We often seek validation and support from others, and we appreciate people who make us feel good. However, we must be careful to discern the motives behind both criticism and praise. Friends who offer constructive criticism do so out of love, desiring to see us do better or be better. They challenge us in ways that can feel uncomfortable. These interactions can sometimes feel like wounds, but they are ultimately healing. When we take these “faithful wounds” to heart, they guide us toward better choices.

  On the other hand, those who flatter us unconditionally may not have our best interest at heart. They may even be jealous or self-preserving. Understanding the difference between honest feedback and dishonest praise helps us navigate our relationships wisely. When we surround ourselves with authentic friends, we can find strength. Just as iron sharpens iron, we become better through honest interactions with those who genuinely care.  

  Even King David experienced the pain of betrayal by friends. He expresses deep pain and distress (v.1-8) in Psalm chapter 15. Crying out to God in prayer for justice (v. 9-15) then for assurance (v.16-23). Ultimately, he lays it on God to handle it. As much as he wanted God to punish those who had betrayed him, He ends the chapter with “But I will trust you Lord”.

  We need to trust that God of the universe Has power over all things. When someone has betrayed us, we need to trust that He has an ultimate plan. He knows our heart, and the hearts of those around us. He is in control. “Cast your burden on the Lord, And He will sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.”(v.22).

Conflict should create conversation.

Conversation should create discovery.

Discovery should create understanding.

Understanding should create encouragement.

Encouragement should create support.

Support should create healing.